Omega's Job Hunting
by Ninstation X
Summary: Omega needs a new source of income, so he tries to find a steady job. For some reason, he has a hard time finding work that goes with his abilities.
1. Daycare

-A robot's tale-

Ever since Sonic Next-Gen, I've been cut off...from my employment.

I didn't get into Sonic and the Secret Rings...I almost made it into Sonic Rivals 2 but not quite.

They even used Vector as a power character in Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games when I would have easily annihilated them all in the competition...with lasers.

So I am stuck without a job and without money to recharge my sophisticated AA battery power supply.

A new job is imminent.

**First Job – Daycare**

"Okay, Mr. Omega," said Shelly the daycare owner, "your records show that you're full of fury?"

"Affirmative," replied Omega.

"And your previous occupation was trying to kill a man named Dr. Eggman?"

"I was very close to completing that mission."

Shelly was terrified. "I don't think..." -crash- "Oh No, Johnny pushed down Susie again. Johnny, you get back here!" Shelly chased after him.

Susie was on the floor crying.

Omega went towards her. "What is the cause of your grief, organic lifeform?"

"Johnny is always so mean to me," cried Susie.

"Annihilate him," said Omega.

"Huh?" said Susie.

"I have the missile power to destroy him," replied Omega. "The power is in your hands, human child."

Susie stopped crying and blankly stared at Omega.

5 explosions later.

"Kill! Kill! Kill!" said Susie while on top of the missile-firing Omega.

"No no," said Omega. "Remember, first you annihilate, _then_ you kill, and, finally, you destroy."


	2. McDonald's

"DESTROY! DESTROY! DESTROY THE COMPETITION!"

"Look, Omega," said the Manager, "I like your enthusiasm, which is why I hired you, but you can't say things like that behind the register. You may scare away our customers."

"She already left without ordering," stated Omega. "Shall I retrieve her BY FORCE?" Omega balled up its fingers.

"No no," said the manager. "Just don't scare away the next one."

"What about annihilating?" asked Omega.

"None of that either."

"Oh...alright." A robot tear fell.

Eggman walked to the counter. "I'd like an Egg McMuffin deep fried in...Omega?"

"Doctor...I'll destroy!..." The manager approached. "Preparing fake personality...I'd love to take your order."

"Wow," said Dr. Eggman. "You've really changed over the years, Omega."

"Please order now," said Omega in a calm, yet fake, voice.

Eggman continued, "You'd think that you would never have gotten over your fury and determination to see my complete and utter destruction."

"Order NOW."

Eggman still continued, "Tell you what, since you've been such a good robot, _unlike in the past_, how about I do you the honor of becoming scrap metal for my next latest and greatest creation?"

"INPUT ORDER NOW!" the voice was getting more furious by the second.

"Or," continued Eggman, "how 'bout I lock you up in an abandoned base to guard Shadow again? Ha! Just kidding, I wouldn't do that again...oh wait, I would! Hahaha."

"Initiating Battle Mode."

"What?" said Eggman.

"Total destruction in three, two,.."

"I feel like I haven't accomplished much in life..." said Eggman.

"One."

Later, at Burger King.

"It says on your résumé that you destroyed one of those accursed McDonald's!" said the King. "That's enough to get you to manager status!"

-On the job at Burger King-

Eggman walked in. "Yes, I'd like a salad with quadruple the ranch dressing and...Omega?"

One Battle Mode later...

Later, at Dairy Queen...and so on and so on...


	3. Student Teacher

"We have a student teacher from now on," announced Ms. Tara. "His name is, Omega."

Omega blasted through the door. "Greetings, children, I shall assist you in noodle portraits and other inane tasks."

"Children?" said Ms. Tara. "You've gotten mixed up. You're the student teacher for a public high-school class."

"I banged a chick last night," said a generic high-school jock named Brady.

The class laughed. Omega proceeded to burn Brady's hair off.

"You have not been instructed to speak," said Omega.

Brady ran screaming around the room with flaming hair, while the rest of the class wondered how high they could get off the smoke he was emitting.

"Initiating class rules.

1. Any insolence toward me will be dealt with severe punishment.

2. Failure to answer a question correctly will result in death. Meaning 100 percent on all tests will be expected from those who want to keep surviving.

3. Don't bother trying to call the authorities, as they already know of me and know they don't stand a chance.

Class rules complete."

"My baby came out," said Tawnya.

Omega shot her and her baby out of the building.

("If I didn't hate these kids and hate teaching, then I'd probably do something about what's happening,") thought Ms. Tara.

A girl raised her hand.

"Permission to speak granted," declared Omega.

The girl spoke, "Who you think you is?! YOU AIN'T MY DADDY. You can't talk to me that way!"

The girl's dad came into the classroom. "Sweetie, you forgot your lunch."

"Who you think you is?! T6alkin' to _me_ that way? You old man. YOU AIN'T MY DADDY."

"A DNA scan shows that that lifeform is, indeed, your father," stated Omega.

"-swear word- all yow!"

"Your disrespect will cost you one arm."

Omega violently tore off the girl's arm.

("Finally,") thought Ms. Tara. ("That'll make it less painful when she gives me my daily beating.")

"Anymore disruptions?" asked Omega as it pulled out its laser arsenal.

In the Principal's office.

"I think you'll make an excellent addition to our faculty, Mr. Omega," said the Principal. "Starting today, you will be a full-time teacher."

"Mission Complete."

And so Omega finally found a permanent job, and the public school system was never the same again.

The End.


End file.
